setiap luka pasti akan sakit. tapi ingat, setiap luka pasti akan sembuh. 

lucu.  

mengenang bagaimana saya paling tidak tahu mengurus hati. lalu Allah uji lagi dan lagi.

Aku ingat lagi waktu hari pertama minggu kuliah Julai yang lepas. Isnin dah mula kelas, Fan Ilqa dengan Ustazah Aida pada masa tu. Tak bersedia langsung nak masuk kelas. Otak belum sedia nak belajar. Emosi belum sedia nak hadap semua hal. Aku lari masuk tandas. I just couldn't control my feelings. And I couldn't stop my tears too. Because I was too afraid. I didn't know what to do. I thought of running away but, the reason why I chose to continue the journey was because of my parent. So, I couldn't go backward. And when I was in class for the first time, I tried so hard not to be upset or ended up crying. I still remembered the feelings, how vulnerable I was at that time. 

But today I told Allah Ta'ala that it would be regrettable to death if I gave up on that day. Memang tahap weh-bapaklah-rugi-kalau-aku-tak-sambung-study. Because I thought of quitting college before. Sentimental person ni ada baiknya tapi buruknya jangan dibuat remeh. Yang baiknya kita lagi senang nak immerse into anything. Tapi yang buruknya macam ni la, lead to negative thinking or worse, depression. 

And not to forget the biggest contributing factor yang buat aku "terpaksa" nak sambung belajar, Ustazah Norahida. 

I told her I'm weak.
She told me that I'm not.
I told her I was scared.
She told me not to. 

And now, here I am, writing this bedtime story for my Mirza Badi'uzzaman. So then he won't easily give up when the times come. Despite knowing that everyone has his/her own breaking points, he still needs to be strong like his mother.