Thursday, 17 August 2017

good goodbye


this morning my sister and i had our linkin park conversation. i knew linkin park because of her. since she doesn't listen to their latest album yet, so i told her this and that regarding to the songs. 'one more light' (album) is all about battling depression. i find it's hard to control my inner feeling whenever i talk about chester. i was about to burst into tears but no, of course. i managed to control it even though the vibration of my voice showed the obvious. 


"people being cliche. katanya lagi sedih artis bunuh diri dari ulama mati. tapi weh.. pernah ke sebelum ni dunia menangis macam ni bila artis mati? seingat aku, tak ada lagi aku jumpa. kali ni saja. tak kenal, sedap sembang. by kenal, i mean know linkin park as linkin park. bukan sekadar kenal sebab pernah dengar nama atau dengar lagu dia semata sebab best. no. listening to linkin park dalam keadaan sebab nak dengar lagu best, tak sama dengan dengar dalam keadaan jiwa tengah kacau dan they captured you, they caught you hard."

"itulah. macam hilang kawan. orang tak kenal sedaplah bercakap."


it has been almost a month now since chaz leaved us. and i'm still crying whenever i see him singing and smiling as if nothing bothered. for those who being biased just because he was an artist, you just don't understand, do you? you don't get it why we can be this sad losing him, don't you?





the dilemma of being a muslim fan, you know how. you know how. suicide is a big sin. the fact he's dying as a non-muslim itu sendiri dah buat kita tak mampu nak tolong even untuk doakan kesejahteraan di sana, apalagi with suicide as ending. i can't help but to be sad for not being able to help my great best friend. all the good things he did was nothing kalau begitu pengakhirannya. just think of it like orang terdekat kita meninggal dunia dalam keadaan kita maklum mati dalam keadaan tak baik, apa kau rasa? so, it feels like that. sama saja. because i don't see chaz as an artist but a mere human being, a friend of mine, a guy who also needed helps from others just like all of us. being sad bukan bermaksud kita back up dia bunuh diri, tapi sebab kenapa dia bunuh diri dan kita tahu masalah dia tak akan selesai lagi lepas ni. stupid juga siapa yang terfikir kita bela chaz bunuh diri ni. pardon my language.



above all, banyak reason untuk "sayang" chaz sebab suara dia yang mewakili jiwa linkin park itu sendiri. lirik-lirik lagu yang sangat bagus lagi menambat hati. patah lirik each song boleh buat kita muhasabah banyak benda. so, today i want to share my thought on 'good goodbye' from album 'one more light'.





so say goodbye and hit the road
pack it up and disappear
you better have some place to go
cause you can't come back around here
good goodbye



these five lines somehow berjaya buat aku fikir panjang (this is my thought, bukan maksud betul lagu ni). bila sebut goodbye, aku nampak dua benda, berpisah dan mati. jadi bila dikaitkan dengan mati, kita memang kena ada matlamat yang jelas, ke mana kita selepas mati? kemana kita mahu tinggal selepas ini? takkan neraka kot? mestilah syurga. jadi, jika mahu tuju syurga, kena buat cara nak pada syurga. bila ada matlamat, kita jadi semangat. kita akan bersungguh untuk realisasikan matlamat kita sekiranya kita fokus pada apa yang kita mahu. sama dalam bisnes, aim nak jadi jutawan, pasang itu ini, seminar sana sini. sanggup, sebab matlamat jelas. 

'you better have some place to go' refer kepada rumah abadi. tempat kita nak tuju nanti. susah kita kalau nak berjalan tapi tak tahu nak berhenti di mana, tak tahu destinasi yang mana. 'cause you can't come back around here', iyalah bila kita dah mati, mana boleh balik ke dunia lagi. sebab tu kena tahu kemana kita nak pergi, apa perlu dibuat untuk menuju ke destinasi yang diimpi (balik pada previous line). kalau amal tak memuaskan, merayulah nak balik ke dunia. tapi tak adanya boleh lepas. sebab tu kena all-out jadi mukmin haqiqi. good goodbye, semoga husnul khatimah, insyaAllah. we all adore for a perfect shut down. semoga pass.. آمين

syukran mike shinoda for the great lyrics. tak terlambat lagi untuk doakan mike dapat hidayah. besar jasa mike untuk umat kalau jadi muslim :')

by the way, i really miss you, chazy chaz. we've been friends since 2006 and you didn't even know it. tak puas hati jugalah main blah macam tu saja tapi tak apalah. i still can't believe you've gone gone.